The last few
days have been a little up and down physically and emotionally. I’ve been very
teary on a number of occasions; my Mum tells me that anesthetic can have that
effect post surgery. I’m sure that is part of it, along with feeling very tired
and not getting a great deal of decent sleep, but I think the over riding
common denominator is when my thoughts turn towards the World Cup starting in
88 days.
I’ve had so
many amazing messages of support over the last few days. Some have been from
complete strangers. Others have been from those who often tweet regular
encouragement during tournaments for club and country. The majority though have
come from current and ex-teammates, including the best piece of advice from
someone who was unfairly hampered by injury throughout her career. She simply
said “One day, one session at a time”. It sounds like such a simple concept but
it’s so hard to do, especially I find right at the start when you have a lot of
time to sit and think. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at my
calendar and counted the number of weeks it is until the World Cup and compared
this to my recovery time from last year. I think it’s understandable, yet know
it’s completely unhelpful. I know I can only do what I can do, obviously I will
be pushing it to the limits but my mantra for the foreseeable future will be
‘one day at a time’.
Physically I
don’t feel too bad, my back feels stiff and it’s frustrating not being able to
stretch it out but the pain is manageable. The numbness in my right leg and
foot is constantly at the back of my mind. My calf was twitching like crazy
last night, which I was desperately convincing myself was a good sign. I’ve
been given a few mobility and core exercises from the hospital physio and other
than going for short walks, there’s little else I can do.
My overriding
comfort throughout the good and the bad over the last week has been the
tremendous amount of support. I know I can’t get through this by myself and I
can’t thank everyone enough for the emails, texts, tweets, Facebook messages
and comments on my blog. They all help, every single one of them. In the email
I sent to the current GB squad explaining my impending operation, I used this
quote…
“When the mind
says give up, hope whispers one more try.” Anonymous
I know this is
going to be a battle, but where hope remains, my heart will never give up.
In the meantime
I’m loving Ellen DeGeneres’ app. Heads Up! It’s providing much hilarity at
times when it’s very much needed. Laughter, after all, is the best medicine.
Clearly my Dad has not seen Star Wars!
